So aparantly Seattle is expiriencing either a drought or like record low rainfal or something.
The irony is that I live in Pennsylvania and it has been raining non-stop for what must be close to a month- unusual for this time of year.
Normally we would be the ones in a drought, which I would much prefer.
And I can here the skeptics now...
and yes, drought is pretty tough on farmers and living in PA that is a big deal
However, excessive rain is just as bad and were are much less equipt for handling that.
So basically this was what came of my frustration at the weather

Internally- Oh shit! What happened?! What I do?!?
Exteranlly- Sure, whats up?

I don't know about  you but I absolutely love the feeling I get right after a movie ends. It doesn't matter if the movie was funny or or sad or explode-y, the feeling when it stops and suddenly I am back to the real world is so...it really isn't that 'happy' exactly, I mean who ever wants to go back to the real word I suppose its just interesting. I  think the reason I enjoy it so much because it takes me a little while to actually come back to the real world. It's like an in-between sort of thing. I'm somewhere between real life and something far away and mysterious. Ah! I know just what it is. It's like the wood in The Magician's Nephew. I dont really feel like explaining it but if you have read The Chronicles of Narnia you know what I'm talking about. So this was a pointless post really. I just got done watching a movie and figured I might as well document. haha This probably sounds sooo rediculous to anyone but me. Oh well... :)

I'm not going to spell check this which means I probably messed things up. I know it would only take a minute to spell check it but I just dont feel like it and you know what? I enjoy the fact that I dont have to be perfect all the time. 

I hate this thing. It causes more stress in me and my group of friends than anything else. Its ridiculous. Do we really need our parents seeing how are grades are everyday? And do we really need to see our grades everyday? I honestly don't think so. What difference does it make? Knowing the exact number of our grades to the hundreth of a point  that is. My freinds and I are in the "advanced" classes at our school. A few of us(me included) don't have a single not-advanced class. And as if being in all (or mostly) advanced classes isn't enough getting straight As is NOT an acheivement. Oh no. Straight As is an expectation, not only from our parents but from ourselves. If any of us have anything lower than an A in a class we get all upset and start planning out how we are going to bring our grade up (even if by only one point).

Anyway that was a rant. Sorry and... Lord help me! As I sit here whining the police have arrived at my elderly nieghbor's house. I hope she is alright.

the country is falling apart. thats more than a little scary. The worst part is all I can do is sit and watch. I'm too young. I cant vote and I can't say anything because no one is going to listen. If you can vote or in a position to say something do so. The world is changing and the people who will be affected most in the long run can't do a thing. The funny thing is no one will read this.

Drama at its best is but a nessecary evil, at its worst...SCREW THAT! Drama is evil and unnessecay! It pisses me off how much of it goes on around me and how much people try to bring me into it. I honestly dont need any drama right now and would appreciate if it would all stop asap.

 I just got home from my trip to England, Ireland and Wales a few days ago and jet lag has finally worn off. Thank God! (and yes it should be capitalized because weather you believe in it or not it still a proper noun) 

The trip was wonderful. I dont think I have ever had so much fun or learned so much in such a short period of time. I made some great friends. If it hadn't been for this trip I would have never even met half of them or even considered that the other half might be good company. Unfortunately four of the best friends I made on the trip are from Texas so I may never see them again. But I intend to keep in touch with them so it wont be so bad. Even if we dont keep in touch, for the three weeks i was with them they were great friends.

It's truly amazing. When I left the family was in shambles, mom's drinking was bad, i was depressed, my dad more distant than usual, he and my mother at each others throats, my sisters the same way-- it was bad. I left, had a great time and came home expecting to have to go back to all the crap. But it seems like everything is falling back into place. Everyone is getting along, my mom hasn't been drinking... its like we're a family again. I couldn't be happier.

I was just thinking about how funny a word that has come to be completely normal in conversation with my friends really is. Actually, I suppose the word itself isn't really as funny the fact that we use it regularly and people have no idea what we're talking about. 

The word isn't really a word. It's a name- a codename. This year during school I was spending a lot of time with the counselor. My councelor is a really funny, really weird guy and I liked to share with my friends what I could about our conversations. Also sometimes my friends had no idea where I dissapeared to and wanted to ask me if I was with him. The only problem was that if there is only one Mr. Riley at my school and  everyone knows who he is so using his name would get me a lot of weird looks and a lot of teasing.

One day in the cafetereia I noticed that Mr. Riley looked like a Keebler Elf (you know the cookie elves). See, he has pointy ears and this hair that I can't even explain and he was wearing this shirt that looked very elf-ish. I pointed it out to my friends and they all had a good laugh wich is what I was aiming for, but then I thought that would be a perfect name for him. So from that day on we refered to him as Elf Lord.

At first it was weird and we would always giggle when we said it but after a week or so it wasn't funny anymore. After a month or so it became second nature and now its weird to call him Mr. Riley. 

After reading this I realize its probably not all that funny to you but what ever-- it throughly amuses me.

Last night I had a conversation with my friend that got me thinking. Would be becoming a shrink when I grow up mess me up even more than I already am? I don't really think it would but...
 
I told her that I think I want to be a shrink when I grow up and she got all nervous and upset. (she tries really hard not to upset me and to sheild me from anything that might cause me to get bad) 

-I don't think that's a good idea. Don't be a shrink. Please. 
- Uhh... Why?
-Just don't. I can't really say. 
-Uhh...?
-You'll take it the wrong way. (but what she was really saying was it might upset you and you might do something stupid -which i never have for the record- or you'll get bad)
-No I won't.
- You might.
-Oh well. Just say it.
-Fine.

She then told me how that if I was a shrink I would deal with people who are depresed and who want to kill themselves and that would make me sad and then I'd be even less happy than I am now.

I always thought helping people would give me a nice sense of purpose that I somethimes lack and hearing stories of people who are just as or more likely a lot worse off than I am would stop me from feeling sorry for myself. Both of which would increase happiness... but I suppose she could have a point.

Any thoughts?